Qanzaspeak

Janelle came over yesterday to film a five minute short of her brilliant screenplay. Working title: Killer Chopsticks, though her Master’s adviser insists she come up with something more thoughtful. We’re pretty sure all the thoughtful titles are already taken: Dead Poets’ Society, Atonement, The Legend of Billie Jean…so Killer Chopsticks it is, at least for now. I mean, didn’t people rally for Snakes on a Plane to remain titled as such? Yes. Yes they did.

Janelle’s actor bailed on her at the eleventh hour. “I can’t. My joints hurt.” For real. What a wad. (Note to self: refer to people as wads more often.) Her crew bailed, too. Wads! Thus, as well as filling the role of writer and director, Janelle became the entire crew. I know what you’re all wondering, what you’re chomping at the bit to confirm, on the edge of your seats to see, wiggling, squirming, giggling, tickling yourselves, squealing, could it be? Well slap yerselves with wet pancakes and buy me a shot of Hot Damn because it’s true! Due to the leading man’s joint pain, Yours Truly is the star.

Without giving too much away, a quiet dinner at home takes a devilish turn when a set of chopsticks exact their revenge on their maker. It’s like if Pinocchio turned on his creator in the name of the trees cut down to make him. Hey! How ’bout Child’s Play Chopsticks. That’s thoughtful! Or The Lorax 2? “I speak for the trees!”

It was so much fun. We filmed from 2PM until 11, and it felt like an hour or so. Since it was just the two of us, we could really focus and collaborate, without twenty other opinions to extinguish moments of inspiration. Admittedly, at first it was boring. Filming is incredibly tedious. So much so that I avoid almost any opportunity to work on a film in favor of theatre. Once we had a few scenes down and could view the footage it became a lot more fun. We started to realize we were actually getting it! Janelle’s script calls for a few tricks that neither of us were sure we’d be able to pull off, but I think she captured what she needed, exceeding my expectations tenfold. I can’t wait for the finished product. I think I have her convinced to put it on YouTube. I’ll post the link if she does. That may not be for a few months, though. We’ve got two more scenes to film, and then she’s got a lot of editing to do. Thankfully, she’s a perfectionist.

So, I’m dipping my toes back into the often annoying, sometimes scalding waters of acting. It’s exciting to me because there are bigger projects out there, burbling, churning, and gestating in the ether. Suffice it to say, if you and I have been kicking around the idea of a l’il bit ‘o drama, I’m readying.